I toil away in big Pharma by day, paper chase an international adoption by night, and squeeze in hockey whenever possible. Plus, I'm pretty, witty and gay.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

We got our I-171H!


This is the little piece of paper that says Uncle Sam thinks I would be a good enough parent, so I can bring my kids home.


For those keeping score: that's an approval in three days short of two months, with no errors. Go Detroit immigration!

*thinks positive thoughts about getting my referals soon*

Friday, July 21, 2006

Daily Goings On

I'm trying not to go crazy with the adoption waiting, so I'm staying busy.

Work is both overwhelming and interesting. Some year, maybe I'll catch up. Or they'll fire me.

Was sick yesterday. Drugs are really good. heh.

Went for a long motorcycle ride today. It was so gorgeous outside, the wind and speed...Stopped at the mechanics place and he adjusted the timing and showed me how to do it too.

Going to see Clerks II with Lady Jane Scarlett tonight. Because we're twelve.

Tomorrow I have lots of household/adoption related errands to do in the morning, and a work/dinner function in the evening at my bosses house. It's mainly in celebration of my five year employment anniversary. A sweet gesture, sure, but I'm really stressed out about having to be there on time and not my usual fashionably late. D and LJS will be there as well, so here's hoping we make it through...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Musing on Weddings and Marriage

My (ex)step-brother got married last weekend, and we dutifully attended, even though our invitation was verbal only (apparently, her parents aren't so keen on our defination of family, but they were kind enough to send us a "save the date" card). They were very sweet, and so earnest. They've been together since high-school, and are now in grad school. I wish only the best for them, however, I realized that I have a lot of mixed feelings about weddings that I really haven't fully dealt with. What it boils down to, is: I'm pissed my country deems my six year relationship unequal to/unlike marriage, but really, if tomorrow Georgie said, "My bad, all you gays can get married" I don't know if I would. Or, maybe I'd sign the paper (to protect our health coverage, yo, since you only get coverage by sleeping with someone), but definately not have a wedding. I have the most stable relationship in my family. Seriously. My sister has been married twice, each lasted less than a year (she has a habit of choosing "unavailable" men). My parents got divorced after 25 years (?!?!) and his second marriage was on the books I think three years, but they've had this on-and-off dependance/friendship thing, hence, that we still attend family functions together. I've learned the hard way, by trial and error, how to make a relationship work. We've learned how to get through the hard times, how to fight fair, how to support each other, and how to fall in love all over again. We ARE married. Standing in front of our friends and family won't change this, and truthfully, they already see us this way anyway. Even my dearest grandma, on her deathbed, made D promise she'd take care of me always. We would never be adopting if we weren't committed to this for the long haul. It makes me angry that the Right uses fear-mongering about us destroying the sanctity of marriage as a way to deny us civil rights and equal protections. It makes me sad every time I have to check the "single" demographic box. It breaks my heart when my hospital/doctor papers list D's name as my emergency contact, but for relation, it says, "no relation". (stepping off soapbox now....)

Friday, July 07, 2006

Big Adoption Update

We hit our first speedbump on the adoption superhighway.

We might not get our older boy. We might not get our baby boy.

Instead, we might get a ~3yo girl, and a baby girl (chance still of a boy). I'm not too sad about the gender reversal, but they've changed some of the rules, and there is a possibility that we won't actually be able to get two at the same time. But, I'm getting ahead of myself...

The governor of the region we're adopting from in a central asian country that ends in -stan and itsn't Kaz (I'm being sneaky and avoiding search engines until the adoption is complete), has decided that he wants to personally meet the adoptive parents before completing the adoption, instead of not meeting us first like how it used to be. OK, I get that. He's not allowing more than one child 2 and under to be adopted at the same time. We're hoping he'll agree to a 3yo and a baby, but we'll have to see. Keep your fingers crossed. I really want my kids to have siblings, and I really don't know if I want to go through this all over again. Anyway, the trip was supposed to be only one week long, but this may change that. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. So they've been having trouble identifying my older boy. Apparently, the coordinator over there has had a lot of luck with the baby houses, but not as much with the older children orphanages. There's a 3yo girl at the baby house that hasn't been moved up yet, he's clearing her paperwork. We agreed to take her referal if her paperwork is clear, instead of the older boy. They have several baby girls under 6 months, but I've asked for a baby boy if at all possible. They may tell me it's not, so I may be going from two boys to two girls. The fact that I'm even having children at all is a bit of a miracle, so they'll be blessings no matter what. It's just really weird to wrap my head around. I woke up expecting one thing, and got another. Not bad, just different.

Of course, everything could change again tomorrow.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Happy Birthday, America

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
The Declaration of Independance

On this, our nation's birthday, I like to remember what an amazing document the DoI is. It's revolutionary on two fronts: there is the overt declaration of war against King George III, and the more radical notion that God has given us the right of happiness. Think about that. Common religious thinking at the time said (ok, still says) that humans were meant to suffer in this life. God's will rarely included something so trivial as happiness. God's will only included narrow rules to follow, and following these rules made God happy, but not necessary you. But here was a country predicated on the idea that God wanted us to find our own way, our own place in the world. God actually wanted us to be happy. So, King George W., fuck you and your "Defense of Marriage" Act. Fuck your stripping of our civil liberties, one by one, like an onion, so that the masses won't even miss what they've lost. What has made America such a special place is the hope that tomorrow will be better, that hard work can over come prejudice. This is a country founded by second sons that had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. This is why I'm so angry. The right wing has stolen my country, and I want it back.