I toil away in big Pharma by day, paper chase an international adoption by night, and squeeze in hockey whenever possible. Plus, I'm pretty, witty and gay.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Musing on Weddings and Marriage

My (ex)step-brother got married last weekend, and we dutifully attended, even though our invitation was verbal only (apparently, her parents aren't so keen on our defination of family, but they were kind enough to send us a "save the date" card). They were very sweet, and so earnest. They've been together since high-school, and are now in grad school. I wish only the best for them, however, I realized that I have a lot of mixed feelings about weddings that I really haven't fully dealt with. What it boils down to, is: I'm pissed my country deems my six year relationship unequal to/unlike marriage, but really, if tomorrow Georgie said, "My bad, all you gays can get married" I don't know if I would. Or, maybe I'd sign the paper (to protect our health coverage, yo, since you only get coverage by sleeping with someone), but definately not have a wedding. I have the most stable relationship in my family. Seriously. My sister has been married twice, each lasted less than a year (she has a habit of choosing "unavailable" men). My parents got divorced after 25 years (?!?!) and his second marriage was on the books I think three years, but they've had this on-and-off dependance/friendship thing, hence, that we still attend family functions together. I've learned the hard way, by trial and error, how to make a relationship work. We've learned how to get through the hard times, how to fight fair, how to support each other, and how to fall in love all over again. We ARE married. Standing in front of our friends and family won't change this, and truthfully, they already see us this way anyway. Even my dearest grandma, on her deathbed, made D promise she'd take care of me always. We would never be adopting if we weren't committed to this for the long haul. It makes me angry that the Right uses fear-mongering about us destroying the sanctity of marriage as a way to deny us civil rights and equal protections. It makes me sad every time I have to check the "single" demographic box. It breaks my heart when my hospital/doctor papers list D's name as my emergency contact, but for relation, it says, "no relation". (stepping off soapbox now....)

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